16 and pregnant

Have you checked out this show on MTV? I am not - by any means - an MTV viewer. To be honest, most of those real world-esque shows kinda annoy me. Yes, I'm showing my age, but whatev!

Now, while I'm not a regular MTV viewer, I've been sucked into the show 16 and pregnant. It's a pretty horrible show and it's become a guilty pleasure that I watch every chance I get.

Why the attraction to what are children from underprivileged, and at times, unsteady homes? Well, to be totally blunt, it makes me feel good. I'd never dare watch any of those other baby-themed shows - you know the ones with women who've had a calling to be a mom their whole life and now that they are having a child will finally realize their dream; or worse off, those shows with multiple sets where the women make managing 18 kids seem like a piece of cake. I already feel ill-equipped, I don't need television to further reduce my self-esteem.

Instead, I need a television show to show me how much worse my life could be. Thus, 16 and pregnant! I'm twice the age of a 16 year old, and unlike many of the featured baby mammas, I'm in a steady relationship, have a home to shelter the child and access to the finances to feed and clothe the babe.

As I've continued to watch episode, after episode, after episode, I've realized all the things I have are the superficial things. While important, they really don't matter. As a result my good feelings from watching the show have dissipated. I guess that's the crutch of guilty pleasures - they reel you in until you're addicted, but then leave you feeling empty and in need of an escape.

The truth is, even at the age of 16 or 17, with all their naivety, cluelessness and eternal optimism, these chicks have it more together than I. Yes, there was the cheerleader who told her friends she'd stay pregnant because she'd look cute and the couple who tried to move out on their own only to have their realtor tell them their monthly income wouldn't cover the rent check. As sad as they were, they lifted my spirits. But the real downers were the baby mammas who quickly accepted their fate, changed their priorities and said goodbye to their childhood so they could focus on building a life for their child.

How can I be twice the age of these girls and not even half my way to accepting my fate? Although the belly has grown and the child within makes its presence known regularly, viciously; I have yet to say hello to my new life. I'm left wondering if it'll ever happen.