It's gas

In the last couple of weeks, I've come to see the conspiracy that is pregnancy. And, what's worse, everyone's in on it - the magazines, TV, and worse, women. They all claim how beautiful pregnancy is. To that, I say BS! Well, I'd say more, but not on such a public forum.

There is no beauty in constipation, bloating and gas. It's embarassing and for the first time in my life it is the most painful thing I've experienced EVER! And, this is coming from someone who been crippled by IBS her whole life! And, from what I've read, it's completely normal and completely common among pregnant women. Well, that's news to me!

I've known many pregnant women, and while I must admit, I've paid little attention to their aches and pains, I've never heard any reference to gas. Yes, it's embarrasing and utterly unladylike to experience, let along discuss. But, when something is so painful it warrants a discussion, non? At least as a warning.

Since I was never warned, let me be the first to warn you. The gas situation is horrible. My stomach has bloated to the point where the buttons on my shirt have popped - while at work - I kid not! And, on two separate occassions, the pressure was so great it literally brought me down to my knees. I tell you, if labour is anything like this, you can count me out!

What's worse, in my pursuit to overcome this problem, I've been told to up my fiber intake even more (my current high fiber diet would be a point of envy of most geriatrics). And as a result, this has only extenuated my circumstances, causing even greater discomfort for me and those within sniffing distance.

I can't wait for what's next!